Things I Hate: Part 3

(For parts 1 and 2, see The Goddess Rambles and scroll down.)

Don't mind me. Just spillin' a little haterade on the internets. Seriously, though, sometimes you just get this stuff out of your system or it builds resentment which breeds anxiety and yet more hatred until one day someone looks at you funny and you turn into Michael Douglas in Falling Down. Which is never pleasant, really.

So, for your edification, I present to you: Things I Hate.

1) Licorice. If there was ever a more deeply unpleasant flavor in the entire world, I don't know what it could possibly be. My hatred of it is a well so deep that I can't even get fennel past my nose. It's bitter as all hell and it burns my tongue. A friend of mine called the original Nyquil "green death flavored". That pretty much sums it up. How people can put anything licorice-related into their mouths at all is utterly beyond me.

2) People who watched Serenity and didn't cry when... well, the whole Wash thing. You know who are. And you are entirely devoid of a soul. Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done until you can muster up something resembling actual human emotion. Shameful.

3) The purposeful emulation of anyone on Jersey Shore. Wha? Why? Why would you want to even remotely be like or be compared to or have anything to do with people that... that... void? Is that what you want to be? Is your primary aspiration in life to actually be that empty? It's one thing to watch the show as a guilty pleasure and to shake your head and laugh and go, "Wow. These kids are total douchebaguettes." It's another thing entirely to watch it and think, "That's it! If I engage in their lifestyle, my life will actually mean something!" You are actively contributing to the downfall of humankind and I am horrified of you. Go join the soulless freaks in the corner.

4) iPhone's autocorrect. I once tried to type in Necco (as in the wafer-like candy) and my phone tried to autocorrect it "necrophilia". Um. Is this a word that is that commonly used in texting? The world is in a more terrifying state than I thought.

5. Rutabaga. I know this one's a repeat, but it still smells like feet.

There you are. Now drink it down. All the way. Mwahaha.